Monday, August 24, 2009

The Doc

Oh, I was so nervous this morning. I had my list of questions and then I wanted to talk about the "plan" for a next pregnancy. Dr. P was his usual self, so I had to suck up a little. Remind me if I forget that I need to scan in the drawing he made for me to explain what funneling is.
First of all, shouldn't there be a seperate waiting room at the OB for those who are NOT pregnant? And why are the only ones you see SO PREGNANT that you couldn't even guess they were just a little chubby?
He tells me there will be, assuming I get pregnant with only a singleton, a less than 5% chance of the same thing happening (premature rupture of membrane). He says with a singleton I should breathe a sigh of relief. He says that he studies and researches preterm labor-that's his specialty and that it's all going to be ok.
He says that if I, on the smallest chance, get pregnant with twins again, then he will (and I quote) "fill me a script for valium".
HILARIOUS, doc. So funny.
Funnier is that I want the valium now and I'm only THINKING about ttc.
He says he'll check my cervix, ya know, often.
If something is going on, we'll do something about it. But putting in a cerclage or giving me 17p is only for when something is happening that's wrong.
(I guess this bugs me bc I tend to try to be on the preventative side)
But there are risks with all of those preventative things, so you're taking a risk by using them if they are not necessary.
He says that since I had an infection once (if it was infection that caused the pprom, and not just having twins), it means I have an even lesser chance of having one again.
I said, "Sir, if I were your daughter-would you tell me to try again?"
"Oh, absolutely" he said, without missing a beat. Almost scoffed at the thought.

I feel good about it.
I feel mother-f&*(^&*^%&*%*&%(&* terrified about it.

A less than 5% chance. Shouldn't that make me feel better? I shouldn't complain about that. Except I've sort of defied the odds in everything else on the bad side of statistics.

Now, I guess the decision is when we should start. And hope that somehow we get lucky and actually get a second chance at this.

Hope you're all doing well, ladies. I'm at school right now, procastinating working on my lesson plans-one week for tomorrow there will be 30 kids shoved in here! Yikes!


Bluebird said...

Oh how well I remember that appointment. I almost *wanted* him to say, "hell, no!" to trying again, to validate the fear I was feeling. We also had the same conversation of twins vs single (even though your situation and mine were different). My dr. actually did a fist pump of joy when he confirmed that there was "just one" this time. And I also totally get that odds don't mean much to people like us. . .

Regardless, the 5% *is* really, really good and I hope that, as time goes on, you are able to take some comfort in that.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow as school gets underway again!

Kristy ~ said...

What a wonderful appt. I hope that it brings you some peace that the chances of what happened once probably won't happen again. I am on your side and thinking of you every step the way.

And if its any help, I have needed Clomid to conceive for all my pregnancies. We conceived triplets on it with 150mg of Clomid, but the following 4 pregnancies (also on 150mg of Clomid) was a singleton pregnancy. I only hope it brings you some peace that being on Clomid doesn't necessarily equal multiples. I know you know that deep down, but I do know the fear of trying with the aids of meds since anything can happen.


Just Breathe said...

It sounds like good news. I will pray for you to get pregnant soon.
God Hear My Prayer Amen

Catherine W said...

That all sounds really positive. But I know that a 5% chance isn't very comforting when you know the consequences of being in that 5%.

His quip about the valium was so not funny. Even the thought of being pregnant with twins again bring me out in a cold sweat. Although sometimes it is what I want more than anything. . . .

Hope the lesson planning is going well. x

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad your appointment went so well! He sounds really thorough and he really knows your background and worries. Sounds like you have a good plan!

Bree said...

I guess we need these cheerleaders in our life who believe we can do it again successfully. I certainly feel scared as hell too and know I'm going to be a wreck next pregnancy.