I kept telling myself that I needed do this, as I have done it for 2009 and 2010. But, you see, I feel like I have nothing to say!
My year, as a whole:
Take care of Avery
Try to honor the memory of the twins
Start a new job
That's really it. My family members are here and healthy, and so my year can seem to be summed up much more quickly than the past two or three.
I am so grateful, and as I face 2012, I feel very glad to be me, to be who I am.
I am in a place now where I can control my emotions better, mostly. Oh, don't get me wrong, grief still jumps out from around the corner and punches me hard in the face, and it's always kind of there, lurking about, waiting for you to take a misstep. But, I can handle it better most of the time. I have coping mechanisms, and I have my support.
My support is you. Every time I have to reflect on what I am grateful for, it's this community. We all know-what WOULD we have done without it? What would I have done? Where would I be? I know it has given me this strength. This strength to say, yes, I still suck at pregnancy announcments and baby showers, and the word "twin" in all its forms, even when in reference to a bed (psycho, yo!), but I am stronger. I have my scars and I have my beautiful babies whom I will spend the rest of this year, and next year, and my life remembering.
I wish they were here. I wish all of your beautiful babies were here, too. But thank you for spending this year with me, in whatever capacity that you did.
Peace to you for this New Year. xoxo
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