Thursday, October 13, 2011


Today, Aiden and Sophie would be 2.5 years old.

I think I can't breathe.

At my elementary school, there is a set of twins. They have severe disabilities. One has a walker and the other is in a wheelchair. They are both non-verbal. I used to wonder how that happened. Now I wonder...what if? What if they were here? What if they had made it?

The wondering makes my head hurt so bad that I want to crawl in a hole. Baby announcements lately are getting to me. I'm back in a bad place. Jealousy, Bitterness. I have Avery and I am SO blessed and so lucky.

But I miss them.

It's not fair.