Saturday, September 26, 2009

Mystery

Here are the two main mysteries of my life (ya know, for today):

1. Still no period. Finally let myself test again today. Could not be more negative. And since it's about a million days past ovulation (well, actually it's more like there was no ovulation, I'm guessing), it's a negative for sure kinda negative. I hope the fertility clinic calls me soon to schedule my appointment. I'm wondering if it could hurt to take a week of birth control to make my period come. Although, since I don't have the clomid yet, that's rather pointless.

2. The mystery of selling a house. So, we had a house showing on Thursday. We were sort of annoyed because our realtor called at 4:30 and said...so, I forgot to call you last night-could you have a showing tonight between 5:30 and 6:30? I was annoyed, but honestly, I can't say no to a showing, so I ran around sweeping and vaccuuming. Anyway, we get home, and on the counter, there is this little, um...package? I guess you'd call it. Instead of the realtors business card, there is a little package. It has a ribbon, and a little tag that says "many thanks" and a poem (something about the sunshine in my heart) and it is attached to a granola bar.
Yes, I said granola bar.
What?
Have any of you ever left a "treat" at a home you went through????

So, this is what is keeping me up at night. That, and so much more, of course :) I'm so frustrated with my body, so frustrated with having to keep to myself at school so often. I like being alone right now, but I resent the fact that I have to. I don't know if that makes sense.
We spent the whole night last night with our friends K and M, who just adopted a baby boy. They looked so, so, so happy. Every single thing he does makes your heart melt. I just, so desperately want to feel that happiness. I know it won't erase this pain, but I just...I'm so desperate. I feel SO desperate....

Well, off I go to do laundry, go grocery shopping...ya know, the fun fun fun weekend stuff we have to do when we grow up!

12 comments:

Tina said...

Oh goodness...I know just what you mean! And yes that is very odd, the granola bar??? I don't get it, but hey I guess it may be better than a business card. I hope you find a way to get through these rough days. I am thinking of you and your sweet ones. xx

Rachel said...

Yes...I remember that feeling. I remember it so well. Infertility before a loss is very hard. Infertility after a loss is just plan cruel. It took us for IVF attempts after our loss to get pregnant again. And I swear EVERYONE I knew was getting pregnant immediately. I felt so, so hopeless. I so hope with everything I have that your day as a earthly mommy comes very soon. I so want this for you. Many, many hugs.

Rachel said...

that was four attempts...not for attempts...geez...

Catherine W said...

I can't shed any light at all on the granola bar thing. It seems kind of sweet in a slightly creepy way!
Hugs. It isn't fair. xo

Bree said...

I was in that same situation twice since losing Ella. I swore I ovulated, but then never got a period. Turns out I didn't ovulate. I think it's a combo of our bodies being screwed up from pregnancy and birth and evil PCOS. It sucks! I did a trigger shot this cycle. Hopefully, it works.

Steph said...

PCOS sucks. Ask your Dr. for Provera it will induce a period. Good luck with the Clomid. And yes the granola bar seems a little strange.

Kristy said...

I have to admit the granola bar thing made me chuckle. Who does that?

I'm sorry about the no show period, which means no ovulation. :( I was SO hoping. I take Provera to induce my cycles, which I guess is the same as the BC. Did the clinic say how long it would be before they called with an appt? Isn't there another Dr you were seeing, that could call about going on Clomid to maybe avoid the fert. clinic all together?

Lots of *hugs* for your heavy heart. I wish I could give you one in person. I just know the wonders of a good hug.

Nan said...

Just (((hugs))) sweetie, sorry your heart is so heavy. Praying for a cycle soon. Nan xo

Lea said...

A granola bar??? Wow, never heard that one. Good for a laugh anyway.

I hope the fertility doctor calls soon too.... the waiting is the hardest part.

Akul's mama said...

This is such a long painful journey. Wishing you the best.

iamstacey said...

Christy, I'm so sorry to hear about your student's girlfriend! So unimagineably sad. My thoughts go out to them.

What is going on with your cycle? Keep testing! I'm still hoping for you!

At least they could've left a chocolate bar or a cookie bouquet! :)

Bluebird said...

So sorry about the first. And as for the second - Very strange!