Sunday, September 20, 2009

crumbling

negative pregnancy test. still no period. must be creating my own symptoms.

house that we really, really wanted-sold. drove by to see them packing up their moving van.

first time seeing family since babies died=no one even mentioned a thing. like it didn't even happen.

middle schoolers=stressful.

really, really want to run far, far away.

trying so hard to see the "light" instead of the "dark." I promise-I'm trying.

14 comments:

Just Breathe said...

I know your trying. I will continue to pray for your comfort.
Remember that you have many friend in the blog world who love you and care about you. We are here if you need to talk. I am so sorry for the cold hearts of your family members. ((HUGS))

Kristy said...

Every day is a battle. A battle to wake up and see the good in everything around you...if you ever figure out how to do that, let me know. I'm having a tough time of it myself.

I'm sorry about the negative test...maybe you just O'd late? Just trying to keep the positive thoughts going. Feel free to think...or even say, "just shut up Kristy, its not helping". *hugs*

You don't need to try and force anything...with time.

Mondo *hugs*

Bree said...

I've been there... late period, negative test. crazy middle school students. family ignorance. I'm sorry. I don't know if that makes it any better, but know so many of us know what you're going through. You're not alone.

p.s. I'm workin on a butterfly for Sophie and Aiden.

Akul's mama said...

The buddhists monks always say,"This shall also pass." Their belief is that every thing is temporary, but being a baby lost mom I disagree. This seems to never pass - everything reminds us of what we lost ... every day. Hugssssssss.

Nan said...

So sorry honey. When it rains it pours, I call that the looming dark cloud above the head that just won't go away. Here to hold you hand always, along with the other women who love you here. When you feel like you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on tight. Hugs, Nan

Tina said...

I am so sorry...It just seems like we have hit this super unlucky streak sometimes. Well, I think it is time for our luck to change, for some good things to come our way. I really hope they do soon, but in the meantime, we are here for you. xx

Catherine W said...

Hugs. I'm sorry that all these things have happened at once :(
xo

Christy said...

Sorry you had a bad day(s). Hang in there. There are "peaks" and valleys, though that sounds so untrue to say. Really there are times that are not as hard and times that are just unbearable. Hope better days are near. Thinking of you.
xxxooo

Bluebird said...

Oh honey, I'm *so* sorry. This brought me right back to the first (and second. and third) time we saw B's family after our babies. Honestly, it changed the way I feel about them and our relationship forever. It makes me so, so sad. But also angry.

I understand about wanting to run away. In fact - would it be possible at all? Even if only for an overnight or a weekend?

I know, without a doubt, that you're trying. I think you're doing remarkably well, fwiw :), and I continue to wish peace and strength for you.

iamstacey said...

It's so hard to see the light instead of the dark. It's always trying to close in around me. I don't know how you do it, Christy, you are strong beyond belief.

I hope lucky, happy days are ahead for us soon. So sorry about the house. :(

Missing Kasey said...

((hugs))
Think of you, hoping you are late and the neg test is bc you tested too early. Thinking positive for you!

Once A Mother said...

I hear you sister! I too am trying so hard to focus on that light. I have thought about running, but really where do we go when the pain is in our hearts so it will never leave regardless of our surroundings. Sending you prayers for peace in your heart.

Kristy said...

Still thinking about your Christy...and keeping my fingers crossed things have turned positive for you!
*hugs* my friend.

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