I don't know whether to be relieved or sad. Both, I guess.
I was at work today, and I had this little cramp, and I was like, Oh-guess I'm getting my period-huh-I guess I knew that was coming, ya know...eventually.
So, then at lunch I got really mad. This period took 41 days to come! My appointment at the fertility doctor is not until oct. 19th, so I'll just waste this dumb very long cycle because I'm not on metformin, or clomid, or anything. I could have sex every other day until next year and it wouldn't matter!
So, I decided to call. I left a LOOOOONG, rambling message for the nurse of the fert. doc I've been assigned to.
It went something like,
"I started my period today and so I was wondering if the doctor even though she hasn't met me could just prescribe me the clomid i've taken it before ya know so yeah and then she could just make me an appointment to have an u/s cause all i really need is an u/s because, well, i've been pregnant before but I conceived twins but I can't have twins this time because it's too dangerous because you see they were born prematurely and they didn't live and see my cyles are like 40 or 50 days long sometimes and ohhhh and I'm rambling oh and my birthday is 5.31.81 and yeah. Ok, thanks!"
Deep breath.
Then, after school, I heard my cell phone buzzing. I look and it's the clinic!!! I was shocked actually. Just a few hour long turn around. It was the NICEST nurse EVAR. No lie. She started OFF by saying, "Honey, I just want you to know right away how sorry I am for your loss. We want to get you started down a good path again and we want things to end wonderfully this time."
And she was SINCERE.
And then she said that I was lucky (HA) because my doctor is never in on Tuesdays, but she was there today and so she was able to ask her about my message.
SO!!! She (the doc) didn't feel comfortable prescribing me anything without meeting me (I knew that would happen, I guess I'm actually glad about that) BUT she was going to fit me in at 2:00 on Friday. THIS FRIDAY!!!!! Just a half hour, more directed appointment. And she has a new medication in mind, letrozole (femara brandname-anyone familiar with this?) that works like clomid but has a less chance of multiples! I have to go tomorrow to take a pregnancy test at the clinic (trust me, I have so many negative pregnancy tests it's not even funny) because a study showed it caused birth defects if taken AFTER conception (it is a breast cancer drug as well).
She's fitting me in after her work hours are over on a FRIDAY!!!!!
I'm way, way excited, right? I call my husband and I'm psyched because it's homecoming parade here on Friday so we don't even have to take off work. It'll be day 4 of my cycle, which is the day you start taking the medicine. I don't know what it will all involve or how the u/s will go or anything.
Then, it sinks in. I could take this medication on Friday and then ovulate and then I could be pregnant again. In a few weeks! What if!?!?!?
And this could happen again.
But it won't.
But it could.
Whoa. So excited to be "officially" trying again. Even though I know it could be a long road just to even get pregnant and then what's after that is....well, terrifying. I am feeling a little hopeful today!
11 comments:
Even though there are so many ups and downs, it does feel good to be trying again. It gives me a bit of hope. I'm so excited that you started your period. That means you did ovulate at some point. You're like me, a super late ovulator. I hate that. I'm going to talk to my doc about Femera if clomid doesn't work this cycle. I'm in my 2WW- going crazy over here. Let us know how the appt. goes.
Oh I'm wishing you luck and sending tons of babydust your way. BTW, I got pregnant with twins also on one 50mg round of clomid. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
I am so glad you are feeling hopeful. Just remember to take things one day at a time and TRY not to worry too much about the future...one day at a time! I will be thinking of you in the days to come. xx
P.S. The doc and staff sound WONDERFUL!!!
I was on femera, for fertility use it is considered an 'off the sheet ' usuage because it is a breast cancer drug. I has been used for over 5 years. You just take the tablets daily if I remember correctly, no side effects, less chance of over stimulating the ovaries etc.
I wish you luck and a healthy little baby who just steals your heart:-)
Feeling hopeful with you. I'm glad that you spoke to such a lovely nurse, she really does sound like a gem.
And oh gosh. It's gone from being that 'million year wait' of the last post to a few weeks. Eek. That has got to take some getting your head round. xo
I don't think you know just HOW happy I am read this post. I have the BIGGEST smile on my face. You sound SO excited, its coming through in your words, I can almost hear you just being excited and sounding giddy. This is huge, this is amazing, this is scary. I am here for you every.step.of.the.way. Oh how I wish you lived closer, sheesh, even the same country would be nice. ;)
You my dear are in my thoughts. Please don't be like me and take forever to update ;) (which for the record I will be doing soon), I can't wait to hear how it goes.
Lots and lots of luck, xo's for Friday!
You so so happy! I am happy for you! I pray that this is what it takes! Trying and not conceiving is so stressful and hard. Thinking of you and I can't wait to hear what the Dr. says! They sound very nice-such a bonus!
Finally some positivity for this beautiful girl!!! YAY!!! This is exactly how you should be treated at the docs office, expect nothing less. Sooooo so happy for you! Goodluck on Friday!!! Hugs, Nan xo
I'm so sorry AF came. My cycles are about 40-45 days, too. It really sucks. :(
I took Femara and it was much better than Clomid! No side effects like Clomid. It took injectables for my ovaries to finally respond, but I'd prefer the Femara over the Clomid any day.
Your new doc and her RN sound wonderful! I'm so excited you're getting in early with them! Yay!!!
Oh woah! I am so thrilled for you about this nurse and this dr. and this clinic and everything! Squeezing you in like that is almost unheard of!
I so understand all the mixed emotions that you're feeling and will feel. But it makes me so happy to hear a little bit of hope, for now :)
Wishing you luck, honey. Can't wait to hear how it goes.
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