Friday, June 12, 2009

Scraping Bottom/Depressing Post

I feel like I'm too tired to even post.
I feel like this is all really hitting me.
I feel like nothing will ever be happy again.
I feel like everything has changed and I hate it.
I feel like never leaving the house because all I see is pregnant people and little babies.
And if I stay in and just look at the internet, all I see is pregnant people and little babies.
I tried reading.  I got the new Harlan Coben book, because I thought it would for sure be safe. Sure enough, the lady he's trying to save lost a child when she was little and it turns out she might actually be alive.
Pretty sure my babies are not alive.
Pretty sure it's been too long now-I'm not going to just wake up from a bad dream.
Pretty sure that I'm not sure of much anymore :(

4 comments:

Just Breathe said...

I started reading your posts. I haven't read all of them but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss and the pain you are going through. I saw your name on another blog. I cannot believe what I read. I cannot believe that so many woman are suffering. My heart aches for all of you. I will pray for your comfort and strength to move through each day.

Catherine W said...

Oh Christy. I really don't know what to write. I'm sorry about the Harlan Coben book, I sometimes feel like books and films are being deliberately peppered with scenes of child loss before I read them. They do need warning labels as another blogger said.
I wish that it was a bad dream. Thinking of you xx

Lea said...

Christy - not many words just sending you lots of hugs and strength.

Nan and Mike said...

My thoughts are with you and I pray you can get through this rough time. I know exactly how you feel. The roller coaster will continue to go up and down and eventually even out and stop. Hugs, Nan