A year ago...

One year ago, we had just gotten back from a wedding in Jamaica. We got to Minneapolis at midnight on a Sunday night and still had to drive all the way home, in a snowstorm, and then go to work the next day! I woke up Monday morning and wondered if I should take a pregnancy test. It was far enough in my cycle (the first one from the women's clinic), but I was worried about how terrible my day after seeing a neg. test would be since I was already exhausted. I had seen what felt like a million negative pregnancy tests, and no matter how many you've seen, it doesn't make the next one easier. So I went into the bathroom and got undressed for my shower. At the last second, I changed my mind and grabbed a digital pregnancy test. I sat there, watching the little blinking hourglass. When it flashed up a few seconds later, I could hardly believe it. They had forgotten to put the "Not" in front of the "Pregnant." I remember running into Brian's bathroom (still naked!) and almost knocking him over, shoving the pee stick in his face. I was crying and screaming and generally throwing a fit. I would give anything to have that innocence back. That pure, pure joy. That hope. Elation. Confidence that our future was changing. This was a gift from Rudy, we said. He sent us this from Heaven.

We didn't know that in the end this gift would end up in Heaven, too.