Monday, December 14, 2009

Breathe.

OK, so today I took action. Because I can't just lay around and cry about this. SO, I called Dr. P's office and left a message with the nurses that I'd like him to look into the 17p shots for me. He told me this summer that the research doesn't show much-but I'm going to ask him again.
I then called Dr. B's office and left a message. She is the doctor I had when I was pregnant with the twins (I was shared between the two of them). She actually was in the NICU when things crashed with Aiden and she stayed in there the entire time. Rubbing my back, my shoulders, watching me watch my baby die. You could say we have a connection. So I asked in my message if we could share care again this time. Dr. P's nurse said if my cervix stays put, eventually I'd graduate anyway, so maybe she should be following me, too, either way? Yesterday I spent some time researching a switch in MFMs.
Dr. P is the only perinatologist in my hospital. There are two at the other hospital in town, but my insurance won't work there. Well, it pays 60%. But I saw the bill from one day in the NICU. There's no way we could afford it. So I'm sort of stuck. But I'm not going to sit back and feel bad about this and guilty. If this baby (dear God, please let this baby live) should have something horrible happen, I will never get over the guilt if I just sit back and not fight for what I want. I deserve a good bedside manner. I deserve to be comforted! I am NORMAL for having anxiety.
Just who in the heck wouldn't!?!?!?

9 comments:

Bree said...

Your OB sounds very sweet. I think it would be really great to share. My OB isn't entirely sold on the p17, either. But, wants to do them anyway. Hopefully, you'll get them too.

Lea said...

Truly hoping for the best for you, Christy. Yes, we do deserve respect, peace of mind.... and if that means a lot of extra attention than so be it.

xo

Courtney said...

You so deserve the best and nothing less. Thinking of you!!

*hugs*

Akul's mama said...

Hugsssssssssss.

ForeverElliot'sMommy said...

You GO!! You def. deserve some peace of mind and I soooooo hope you find it!!!
Lots of hugs and prayers for you!!
Brandy

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Catherine W said...

I hope it all works out so you get the care you feel comfortable with. Anyone who has been through what you, your husband, Sophie & Aiden went through would be more than anxious. You do deserve the best possible care.
Thinking of you xo

Missing Kasey said...

What is p17? Thinking of you! You need what will ease your mind, demand it! :)

Holly said...

I'm a little behind so forgive me for playing catch up. Good for you for taking action!

I don't know of anybody that wouldn't be anxious.