Sunday, April 4, 2010

Easter

Last year, Easter day (although it was almost two weeks later in the year calendar wise) was the last day I was pregnant.
That night I started feeling pressure, and the next morning was in full blown labor.
I'm somehow afraid it's going to happen again.

I thought it would be good to have the French visitors here to keep me busy leading up to the babies' birthday, but honestly-I need to lay around, and mope, and cry my heart out, and I can't. And that's hard-really, really hard. :(

12 comments:

Emerging Butterfly said...

All you can do is breathe...

Once upon a time, you didn't know that you might need to be so afraid, and this time...it's different. Now you know what can happen...but chances are, it WON'T, and that is what you have to hold on to with all your might. So Breathe mama....breathe....so far, so good.

With love and hugs...

Bree said...

Yes, breathing is good. Thinking of you. Easter Day is hard for me, too. My dad's memorial was on this day. I think your April is gonna be like my March. I think you'll feel better when the calendar strikes May. Hang in there. Call or text or fb me if you want. xxoo

Nan & Mike said...

Hi hon, I know this is all so hard to navigate, I even thought I have been feeling "pressure" the last few days and today, its so scary and Im sorry. This Holiday is hard to handle too, I thought of where I was last year and I wasnt even able to leave the house so emerged in grief, and I also was thinking of all of our babies and what should be instead of what isnt and its upsetting. We are all here for you and know how you feel, I wish you could cry all day too...keep taking time outs if you can. I had to cry lots this morning before I went to our relatives and even broke down there, but I dont hold back anymore.
Love and hugs xxxooo Nan

AKD said...

I hope that you have time to grieve when you need it, sweetie. I'm so sorry that this is a hard holiday for you now - I hope that it softens into a time of remembrance in the future.

Courtney said...

Oh Christy, I am so thinking of you big time. Wishing you nothing but peace over your heart as you embark on Sophie & Aiden's first birthday.

Many many hugs my friend.

Akul's mama said...

Hugsssss Christy. This must be so hard for you. You are grieving the one you lost and fearing for the one growing within you. Thinking about you and your babies XO XO

Tina said...

Thinking of you and all your babies Christy. Hang in there! xx

With Out My Punkin said...

Thinking of you and your sweet babies! ((HUGS))

rebuilding myself said...

Thinking of you ... hoping you can still find the time to slip away if you need to.

Holly said...

I'm sorry that you can't do those things right now b/c of company.

Nan & Mike said...

Still thinking of you!!! Hope today is better xxxooo You have an award on my blog :) xxxooo

Michele said...

hugs...