Thursday, February 11, 2010

Remembering...and hoping...

Tomorrow is our anatomy scan. I can't help but be worried, yet hopeful-look forward, but look back.
It was almost exactly a year ago when we had the anatomy scan with Sophie and Aiden. It was on a Friday afternoon, it will be in the same place with probably the same ultrasound tech.
Brian and I left school at lunch and grabbed lunch on the way to the hospital. I was so excited I couldn't eat! We got there and I remember sitting in the waiting room waiting to be called back, both of trying to decide what the genders would be! Brian swore it was a boy and girl, but I wasn't so sure. I remember calling a friend and telling her I was nervous.

I will never forget the first time they came up on the screen. I looked at Brian and his mouth was literally hanging open-he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Watching the babies move and wiggle and suck thumbs and wave...I am pretty sure this was close to the happiest moment in my life. The look on Brian's face was almost better to watch than the screen (but not quite :). We got a ton of pictures.

I remember a very strange feeling when she told me that she couldn't give me a DVD because for some reason it hadn't worked. She gave me a quick 3 minute one and got that DVD to work, too. When we got home they were both blank. I remember feeling very strange about that.

Immediately after the appointment, we were on such a high and we decided to on a whim go and buy the minivan we had been looking at. We'd surely need it! We went, bought the van, and drove to my mother-in-laws to show it off and show her the new pictures. When we got home, we ordered two cribs, two dressers, and two gliders (one for each of us, of course!).

The very next weekend my mom came and I showed her the van and we went to make the babies' registry. Just me and my mom.

That wednesday, my mucous plug came out, even though I didn't realize that at the time, and then that Sunday night my water broke after no symptoms or contractions.

Tomorrow we decided to take the whole day off-so that it won't feel quite the same. We won't be going out to lunch. We won't be buying anything at all like a minivan. I've decided that if we are able to find out the gender, we will definitely pick a name and I want to buy a blanket and one outfir for the baby. I want the baby to have something of its own, for sure.

Tomorrow @ 1:40. Here's to hoping.

And remembering, too. I miss you, Sophie and Aiden.

14 comments:

Bree said...

It will be a bittersweet day. I'll be thinking of you guys for sure.

A couple of other bloggers have mentioned a DVD from the big u/s. My doctor doesn't do those. :( I wish I had one of Ella and I'd love to have one of Nora too, just in case. Hope you get one tomorrow.

Megan said...

*hugs* I'll be thinking happy thoughts for you guys tomorrow!

Tina said...

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending good vibes your way. My anatomy scan was very joyful to watch, but then certain parts of it brought it all back and of course made me cry and really miss my girls. Its hard not to have those emotions come up when so many factors take you back to that happy time. Please update us asap!! xx

Akul's mama said...

Christy your message to Sophie and Aiden brought tears to my eyes. Hugssssss. I understand your excitement about this new baby does not take away your yearning for your angels. Thinking about you.

Catherine W said...

Oh Christy. I know I've said this many times before but I'm just so very, very sorry. Your description of Brian watching Sophie and Aiden has me in floods.

I sometimes still can't quite believe how happy I was, how stupidly naive I was, back then.

Hoping and remembering with you xo

Marie W said...

Good Luck! I will be thinking of you today.

Tracey said...

Will be thinking about you......

Jill said...

Thinking about you!!

AKD said...

Thinking of you, Christy - and sending you big hugs. I'm sure it's going to go great, but I know how much seeing my new baby on the screen reminds me of Maddie - there's such a bittersweet pang to it. You're so excited, and still filled with longing. I hope to hear an update soon!

Kristy said...

I think its great that you are open to buying something special for your wee baby. Regardless of the outcome, it will forever belong to this baby. I have both of E's and L's special outfits (complete with socks, hats, blankets, etc) and they mean so much to me. I wish it was something they had worn, but it was bought FOR them, so that counts for something. I hope tomorrow is an amazing day...errr, I hope TODAY is an amazing day. I just realized your post was from last night. Can't wait to hear the update. I think its a boy. ;)
xo

Bluebird said...

Oh, honey. Your words at the end, there, about wanting this little one to have something of his or her own. . . I've written those words, too. I so understand. The day of our anatomy scan with the twins was the beginning of the end, although of course we didn't realize it at the time. I'm sorry for, and understand, your anxiety. I hope you receive wonderful news and are able to have a peaceful day. ((Hugs))

Rebuilding Myself said...

Thinking of you today ...hoping it brings you joy, but understanding the bittersweetness of the moment.

withoutmypunkin said...

((hugs)) thinking of you!

Nan & Mike said...

Hi sweetie, thinking of you and hoping all went well yesterday. Hope to hear an update soon and that everything is ok. Love, Nan xo