Monday, October 12, 2009

Too much.

This is all too much for me.
Too many things happening, too many things coming up.

Tomorrow, October 13th, will make 6 months since Aiden and Sophie came and left. Impossible. They have been gone as long as they were ever here.

October 21st will be the first birthday that my father-in-law won't be here to celebrate with us.

November 2nd is the day he left this earth, exactly one year ago.

2 weeks later, we conceived the twins.

It's all coming so fast. It's all so much.

So many memories, and dates, and things to remember and things to do and work is stressful and I just feel like I can't stand up. Like there is so much on my back, holding me back, holding me down.

I need strength to make it through these next few months. I am happy about trying again, but just know how stressful it will be if it doesn't work right away. I dread that negative pregnancy test (but hope for a positive, don't worry).

Ugh. Monday on top of it!!!

Peace to you all.

11 comments:

Just Breathe said...

((HUGS)) Those are going to be hard days, I'm so sorry. I will pray for you comfort and I will pray for you to become pregnant quickly.

Hope's Mama said...

Thinking of you. These things all creep up on us then bang, they smack us down. Wishing you lots of peace as you make your way throug it.
xo

Nan said...

Riding the roller coaster with you, hon. Thinking of you as you navigate the weeks ahead and for tomorrow I will light a candle for your precious angels in the clouds. You will make it through and remember when you feel like you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot! Hugs, Nan

Kristy said...

Oh hun, I know the frustration and sadness with anniversaries. Especially when they all seem to come at once. The month of September was REALLY hard on me in terms of anniversaries. Just too many special dates, than only brought more tears and more sadness. This weekend was hard too as Friday was L's 4 month birthday and Sunday was 4 months since L left us. Today is Thanksgiving, yet I don't feel like I have much to be thankful about this year. :( Thinking about you over the next few weeks, especially while we wait out the 2ww together. xoxo

Akul's mama said...

Life does seem like one big burden a weight that gets heavier. Hugssssss.

Catherine W said...

Love and strength to you. I'm so sorry that Sophie, Aiden and your father in law will be missing from the birthday celebrations on the 21st. Hang on in there. xo

Once A Mother said...

It is so hard when you have soo many dates back to back, I can relate to this. Sending you prayers and hugs to help you through these rough weeks ahead, and remembering your babies with you.

Missing Kasey said...

I know you will get through, you are strong. I pray that while making it through you and your family will be able to smile through the tears. Angelversaries are hard. They are in heaven all together and your father in law is taking good care of sweet Sophie and Aiden. ((((((((HUGS))))))))

Bluebird said...

Wrapping you up from afar. Wishing and hoping that you have strength and peace. It all is too much. Just try to take care of yourself through it all. ((Hugs)) honey.

Christy said...

October 14th my Chase will be 6 months...making me sad and wishful. Thinking of your babies, too.
xxxooo
Christy

Holly said...

The upcoming days won't be easy and I am thinking of you. I hate getting the negative tests. It is always such a letdown.