Friday, June 18, 2010

A moment

My husband loves thunderstorms. He checks the radar constantly and will turn on his weather radio when one is getting close. He's not a storm chaser, by any means, but he does love a good summer storm. Here in Wisconsin, we have had a TON of rain, which is quite odd for what is typically a very dry and hot June.
Last night, there was a storm coming. He came downstairs, where I was laying, with my shoulder above my head and an ice pack on my back, feeling miserable and asked me if I wanted to come up and watch the storm. I definitely didn't want to-I was in pain and crabby, but he just had that look on his face and I couldn't say no.
So we popped popcorn, got our camping chairs and the dog and went out to sit on the deck.
The sky was insane with lightning-the wind was just starting to pick up a little, but was hot on our faces, and the sun was down. We sat out there for hours. Just talking. We reminisced about summer storms from when we were a kid, and talked about when the electricity would go out, and we laughed a lot. Told stories. Asked questions. We sat out there, in the calm-with the storm brewing and getting closer and I kept closing my eyes and just letting myself FEEL.
In my head, I talked to Aiden and Sophie, like I always do. I told them how much I missed them-and I wondered if they could see their mom and dad and the storm that was coming.
I felt completely at peace-if only for a few hours. I felt normal, and safe, and happy. I let the anxiety go and I let myself enjoy a moment with the man I love.
It felt so good-and it was a reminder that these moments are what we live for. I love the fact that there is still much about my husband that I don't know-that we still have stories to tell and things to talk about. I love hearing him tell stories. Really, I just love him. So much. And our life as of late has not stopped that, but it has prevented us from having moments like this.
It's one of those things that you can't re-create-it just is. I have to remember that although I lost so much-I still have so much to be thankful for. I have my family. Some of us just happen to be in Heaven. And as much as I hate it, that's how it is.

8 comments:

Michele said...

We do have them. Always.

Hugs...

Jill said...

So happy you were able to have that peace for a little while. Your last sentence is so powerful and true. xo

Rebuilding Myself said...

So glad you had a bit of a respite ... sounds like it was a wonderful evening together.

AKD said...

I am so glad that you had such a beautiful, special moment with your family. :)

We're in Iowa, and we got that same storm last night! (We've gotten some pretty severe ones over the last few days.) Stay safe!

stumbull said...

I wish I could say breastfeeding was easier but we had a lot going against us from the beginning. To answer your question the doctor put me on reglan for my breastmilk but there are some non prescription things you can use too. Fenugreek and a tea called mothers milk tea. There is also another prescription med that is used in canada a lot but hard to get here. Just get as much help with breastfeeding and I really hope it is easier for you!

Kerry said...

Beautiful post, Christy. You (we!) are almost there. The pain is on its way out, and precious little A will be here so soon. I'm so excited for you. Happy 37 weeks! I'm looking forward to your next post...

Holly said...

I think it's great that you spent some time together just talking and being together. I saw you guys were getting a storm up there. We've had some storms too. I remember when I used to live with my parents and in the summer we would sit on the back patio while it rained and storm. It was just peaceful. I miss that!

Lori said...

What a lovely and amazing moment...and memory for days to come that may be more difficult than others. I always love having those special thoughts to take me back to happy times.

xoxo