Probably you guessed since I was all, "blahblahblah-one follicle-blahblah" and then didn't bring it up again.
I, like others, am struggling with blogging about it. I could so, so, definitely use the support-above all, I am terrified-but I don't at all want to hurt anyone out there. We are all going through so much. I know it's a little easier to hear news like this when it's another babyloss mama, but it's still not easy. Especially when there are issues with IF, etc. etc. I never, EVER expected this to work this time. It look so long the last time.
For now, though, I just wanted you that have been wondering to know. I'm a few days past 5 weeks along. Very, very early days. I really shouldn't put this on the internet. I don't know if there's anyone from my real life that has somehow found this (besides one person I know that reads this, hi J!).
I'm very nervous. About everything. Reading these blogs has been SO helpful to me, so amazing, but the one thing it has also done is make me hyper-aware of all of the things that could possible go wrong. So many things.
I am trying so very hard to focus on staying positive. Telling myself that I (we) will be ok. That not every bad thing can happen to me. To not take every thing I read about and apply it to me.
But I'm trying.
I have an u/s to see if there is a heartbeat on 11/20. Until then, I am a complete psycho, watching the toilet paper and hoping that somehow this will be ok. My emotions have been going crazy, I've been going back to reliving a lot of the twins' birth/death. I'm trying to stay on track. Trying to be positive. I promise, I am thinking every positive thought that I can muster up. Please help think them for me.
19 hours ago