Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Scared

So, I don't know if you remember, but in October I found out my best friend from grad school is having boy/girl twins.
I had a huge breakdown.
I haven't seen her since, we've just been e-mailing.
So, I've been kinda putting it off, but now we have plans, for Saturday.
I'm scared.
I'm sad.
I don't know what I am.
I need strength.
I need something.
She's already almost 34 weeks along.
I just need strength. I feel so beaten down lately.

9 comments:

Nan & Mike said...

I wish I had suggestions for you, I wouldn't know what to do either. Deep breaths I suppose and jump in head first? Praying for your strength to shine through.

Thank you friend, I love you back xxxooo

Deni said...

Ugh!!! I remember seeing my friend who jumped up and down about her pregnancy to announce it to me after our first loss (mind you she and her hubby lived with his mom!) and then she told me it was a girl, and that she was using my middle name (like literally), and didn't acknowledge remembering it was my middle name (give me a break, people call me by both all the time!). It was gut-wrenching and our friendship has suffered, but she didn't handle it well, she sucked in fact. I know your friend is trying and it's hard for her too (not trying to take up for her AT ALL). Just take deep breaths, and I'm setting an alarm in my phone to pray for you at that time!!! (what time are your plans?) I'm so so so sorry you have to go through this, it's so unfair. ((HUGE HUGS))

Jessica said...

Sending you hugs and any strength I can muster (which hasn't been alot lately but I gladly share it). I am sorry you are having a rough time, with seeing your friend and life in general. I've said it before and I'll say it again...you are such a kind person who was willing to share a few words if advice when I contacted you after my loss. I can never thank you enough and can only offer to listen should you need to vent. Hang in there...

Michele said...

Sending love and hugs and strength. Lots of strength.

AKD said...

Oh, honey. Maybe put B on standby so that he can call you and say there's an emergency if it's too hard? Or text me and I can do it. Give yourself an out for if it's too hard - you're fragile (as we all are), and deserve to be gentle with yourself.

Jill said...

I know that must be so hard for you. I wonder if it will always be hard or if it ever gets easier. Sending you so much strength!

iamstacey said...

I'm praying that this will turn out to be a really positive visit for you both. Hopefully it'll become a stepping stone so you can be comfortable together later on, afer the babies come. I'm so sorry it's going to be hard, but we're pulling for you!

Emerging Butterfly said...

Sending you strength...there are no words. It's so hard to encounter those who have what we've lost. *hug*

rebecca said...

I'm so sorry. Sending so much love your way and hoping you find the strength you need for that day and that you are able to have a wonderful time with your friend ((hugs))