Monday, November 15, 2010


So, we went to visit my mom this weekend.
At one point she left to the store to get something, and she was excited when she got back because she had brought B his favorite snack and she gotten each of us one of those $2 Crossword puzzle scratchoffs.
She smiled at me, and said, "You love those, right? They're your favorite?"
I simultaneously had my heart melt and almost burst into tears.

You see, after my water broke, when I was in the hospital, Brian and I would celebrate each night at 9:40 p.m. We had made it another 24 hours. Each night, B would go to the gas station and buy us fun snacks or drinks and he'd get us each a $2 crossworld puzzle. It was our way of marking that we had made it another day pregnant.

And I hadn't seen one since then. We used to do them often, as a fun thing at the end of the work week (I know, we are nerdy). But ever since, we just didn't buy them. We didn't speak about it; we just didn't do it.

I scratched mine off, and I didn't win. While I was in the hospital, I used to tell myself things like, "If this one is a winner, both of the babies will live." And then if it wasn't I would tell myself how silly and stupid and pointless that was.

I don't know where I'm going with all this, I guess nowhere. I think it's just that there are these things that pop out at us. You just never know...


AKD said...

I totally get this. When we were in the car while I was pregnant with Maddie (usually going back and forth from fertility appts), there were about four different times that we heard the song "Take On Me" by A-Ha. Very 80s. Anyway, it still hits me every time I hear it.

Anonymous said...

Your mom was so sweet to do something so special for you. It sucks it brought back such painful memories. :( The little things have a sneaky way of being even more blind-siding thant he big things.
I'm glad you're still out there! I've missed you on your blog!

Michele said...

I get this.

After Nicholas was born and I was still pregnant with Sophia, I remember watching the Superbowl. The Giants were playing the Patriots and everyone was sure the Giants would be slaughtered. They were the MAJOR underdogs. Just like my Sophie. I told Peter "if the Giants win, I'm leaving this hospital still pregnant with Sophia". They won. And I left the hospital pregnant. She was born a little over a week later, but I still left with her.

And to this day, if they are playing and it is being aired, I dont miss a Giant's game. Crazy... I know...