I have been trying to blog for a few days now. Trying to type it out. I swear, when things get rough, I normally log on, and type as fast as I can without even thinking about it. I just can't seem to make the words into anything comprehensible, even by writing.
I cried all through my day at school today. I looked at the clock a hundred times.
It was this monday, 2 years ago, that Sophie and Aiden were born. 2 years ago it was on the 13th and Easter was the twelfth. I went into labor Easter night.
I just kept looking, thinking, they were almost born, they were almost born. Sophie was born. Aiden was born.
Right now, two years ago, they wouldn't let me in the NICU to see them because things were so touch and go.
I just can't do anything but that. Recount the events.
The pain is there. I can't avoid it. I look at Avery and I am so beyond thankful for her. She makes every day so much better.
But, but, but, but-
I want them.
I want them here. I want them back.
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