tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10101258511307320.post7290908258693538995..comments2023-10-02T09:58:38.103-05:00Comments on Almost a Mother: The "Perfect Family", Viability (I hate that word), and Tube-y ThoughtsChristyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01498901545149667223noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10101258511307320.post-31312715917169024382014-10-10T19:25:18.292-05:002014-10-10T19:25:18.292-05:00I realize this post is from 2012, but I can now sa...I realize this post is from 2012, but I can now sadly relate to your story. If I hear one more person say 'a millionaires family' I will SCREAM! I have a 2 year old daughter and we just lost our son suddenly at 36 weeks. Now every time I hear this saying it makes me sick as I think of what would have been. I am so sorry for your loss. For some sick reason I find comfort in reading other peoples sad stories. I suppose it makes me feel more 'normal'. Thank you for sharing and god bless.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16485895736869318635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10101258511307320.post-36825308887640160022012-09-21T14:59:06.278-05:002012-09-21T14:59:06.278-05:00Oh, Christy. Sending big, big hugs. My first year ...Oh, Christy. Sending big, big hugs. My first year of grief has made me not a careful, nice person like I used to be. In your situation (having lost girl/boy twins myself), I think I would remind those people that, no, I have TWO of each. To model a comedian I once heard: "Truth...that'll shut 'em up."Amy L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/17013013895577702357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10101258511307320.post-11160503387452396692012-09-17T14:18:58.624-05:002012-09-17T14:18:58.624-05:00People's comments are stupid and what if this ...People's comments are stupid and what if this baby were a girl too, would that make your family imperfect? Once you have dead babies life will never be perfect again, sorry, but that is a fact for this BLM, doesn't mean I'm not grateful and completely happy and in love with my family, it's just that there is a hole that nothing else can fill!! <br /><br />Sending you love and prayers for more peaceful sleep without nightmares!Denihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16241957159520703116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10101258511307320.post-32505976537476279622012-09-16T23:59:54.725-05:002012-09-16T23:59:54.725-05:00Though we didn't lose twins, I certainly under...Though we didn't lose twins, I certainly understand your "perfect family" frustrations. I was so anxious when we found out Juliet was a girl (even though we never told ANYONE we found out) as I knew the "perfect family" comments would come, as well as the "oh you're all better now you have a GIRL". Both so untrue.<br />xoHope's Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04984543289642681339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10101258511307320.post-77495304677689882902012-09-16T07:11:02.406-05:002012-09-16T07:11:02.406-05:00We get a lot of "perfect family" comment...We get a lot of "perfect family" comments too<br /> Ticks me off. Sending love and prayers. <br /><br />Michelehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17681333723382119281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10101258511307320.post-31115146067169002362012-09-15T23:16:41.286-05:002012-09-15T23:16:41.286-05:00I got a lot of the "perfect family" comm...I got a lot of the "perfect family" comments too and it always made me either want to cry, or punch the person in the face! For me, I knew as soon as I got pregnant with rainbow #2 that I was done. No matter what happened. I desperately wanted another baby after rainbow #1- and was told it was never going to happen. Between the crap cervix and my PCOS- I was strongly encouraged to have a tubal. I refused to do it then, and now that I've changed docs and had an abdominal cerclage placed, it was assumed I'd be gung-ho to have more babies. But I'm not. The doc who did my c-section spent a solid ten minutes grilling me on why I wanted it and if I was sure. I told him- wouldn't YOU want it done if you were me? As much as I adore my babies, pregnancy is HELL for me. Even with a tubal- I'm STILL terrified of getting pregnant again to the point where I was tempted to ask for birth control pills at my postpartum check-up!!! <br /><br />Take your time, and don't think you have to decide right away. If you're truly "done"- you've got time to decide what you want to do for birth control, if you're not sure- you're probably not "done". Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10101258511307320.post-71457332285882245032012-09-15T20:17:56.166-05:002012-09-15T20:17:56.166-05:00At 25 weeks were in such a similar situation. We&#...At 25 weeks were in such a similar situation. We're having our second rainbow baby. Our third girl. We lost our son to SIDS after a rocky road when my water broke at 23 weeks. It's hard to know we will never have another son or the opportunity to raise a boy, but I also know how hard and how stressful conception and pregnancy has been. I don't know how I could handle the stress and the fears of another pregnancy while handling the children I do have and the one on the way. I signed our consent for tubal ligation but part of me wonders if it's the right decision. Denisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17644442451132026851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10101258511307320.post-42583324231100530682012-09-15T17:32:50.650-05:002012-09-15T17:32:50.650-05:00Christy, sending you hugs across the miles and hop...Christy, sending you hugs across the miles and hoping you do well. I remember the same decision when we were having our rainbow number 2. After our rainbow number 1 we knew for sure we would try again someday but then with rainbow number 2 on the way we felt we couldn't handle the worry and stress any more. It was a really hard decision but after we went ahead and had the tubal done we were more content some how. I'm not telling you that it is the right decision for you because it is such an individual decision. Just saying I understand how you feel, the worry, the stress, the loneliness for the babies that are not in your arms, and the future decisions. Hugs again my friend, take care.Kathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14691771458955062013noreply@blogger.com